I have always been one for etiquette. I can thank my mother for instilling manners into me at a young age. In saying that minding your P’s and Q’s has become a faux pas on the social scene. As a regular attendee of black tie events, red carpet launches and business events, I often see people go a little unstuck in the formal setting. Here are some of my Do’s and Don’ts when attending a formal function.
Do’s
Do Adhere to the dress code: The dress code should be stated on your invitation but if in doubt contact the host. The age old saying ‘it’s better to over dressed than under dressed’ is true but I think in this social climate with cultural sensitivities it’s better to ask the question than just guess.
Good Rule: When the invite states Black tie, this indicates a floor length gown typically in a black or dark shade but depending on the event, a splash of colour and sparkle may be appropriate.
Cocktail: I recommend a midi length dress for a cocktail event and for a business event I often opt for a fitted pant suit. For business functions I recommend keeping makeup more natural and leave the false lashes and smokey eye for the black tie event.
Do Plan Ahead: For a wedding, cocktail or black tie event I start looking for my attire 1-2 months in advance. If i’m having my dress made to measure, the designer would have at least 12 weeks to measure, source the fabric and fit my gown. Once you have secured your outfit then you can select your shoes, bag and accessories. Refer to fashion magazines, online or social media for makeup and hair looks that you would like to emulate for your special event. If doing your hair and makeup yourself, do a trial run before the big event.
Do Find a Tailor: A tailor is not just for the guys! I have many of my pieces altered such as waist cinching and pant hemming. If buying off the rack it is essential to prefect your fit, so head to your preferred tailor for advice.
Do give Introductions with detail: Introductions are key to ensuring guests feel comfortable and confident within a social setting. When I’m in a group, my introduction includes two key points about the person that I’m introducing and would go something like this-
“Hi Sarah, lovely to see you this evening….. Sarah I would like you to meet my colleague John… John specializes in commercial architecture and he and his wife have just had their first baby.”
Do give thanks: Make it a point to thank your host, event organiser or partner who escorted you to the event. People put so much effort into events, formal functions, weddings and business platforms so ensure you make it known to them you appreciated all their efforts.
Don’ts
Don’t be late: Punctuality is key when attending a formal function or wedding. Typically a formal event is planned and timed to co-ordinate with food service, entertainment and speeches. It is advised to arrive within 10 minutes from your event start time.
Don’t forget the finer details: I have witnessed on more than one occasion when a lovely lady has put so much effort into a glamorous gown, only to be let down by chipped finger nail polish or scuffed shoes. Remember to put effort into your whole look, not just one element.
Don’t be on your phone: Times have changed with mobile phone use at events. With the social media connections that some events have, event organisers even encourage the use of your phone during an event. It does require you to make your own judgement on the appropriate time to use your mobile but common sense is recommend.
Good Rule: Always make an effort to be social and attentive to group conversations. Always have your phone on silent mode.
Don’t be disrespectful to the MC or speech givers: Your MC has the mammoth task of relaying key information about the event, sponsors and general housekeeping so make sure you listen and keep your conversations for after. Same goes with speeches, remember to be respectful and courteous as that particular speech may be a key point of the events proceedings.
Don’t get drunk or forget to eat: Sounds simple enough but when people are nervous, they tend to knock back a few to many champagnes. Keep up with the waters and enjoy the food that has been provided for you.
Good Rule: If you have dietary requirements, relay that information to your host when you RSVP. I’m a Coeliac and I have had the unfortunate experience of being ‘glutened’ when I was told my food was gluten free. This was due to the kitchen not given prior notice of my situation and inexperienced wait staff. I make it a point to notify the catering staff when I arrive at an event so they have plenty of time to accommodate my needs.
And always remember to Have Fun!
Frost Face 